Last week, Tuesday started as a normal day: woke up, had breakfast, worked at my thesis, chatted with few friends. Around noon I decided to do some food shopping and headed to the supermarket. It was a beautiful day, few traces of snow here and there, very shinny sun, but still cold.
Walking to the supermarket a thought hit me: I’m happy! How come…?!?, I was about to revolt. No fireworks along with this insight? No winning the lottery? Or breaking a record? Or meeting the love of your life? Or getting your dream job?
No, none of these. But I couldn’t find any arguments against this thought and couldn’t otherwise explain the inner smile that I have for sometime.
Happiness is a concept overloaded with meanings and expectations which shape it in an unattainable form. Many of happiness descriptions have embedded an “if” such as… “if I’ll win the lottery”, “if I’ll have a big house”, “if I’ll live on a sunny island” and so on, conditioning happiness by a scenario build according to certain models (and many of these models are media related, but that is another discussion).
I think an easy way to express happiness is by one of the transactional analysis principles: “I’m OK -you are OK”. Both terms of the equation are implying understanding and acceptance of yourself as well as the other(s).
Therefore happiness is not related with an external cause, but with an internal one, the weight of responsibility being moved towards oneself. By answering to questions like… who am I?, what do I want to do? what can I do?, how can I do that? or what do I need to do that? and so on, the responsibility of happiness is falling in our hands and moves away from the state of expectation.
So yes, I’m happy! Now, don’t imagine that I’m having a permanent shinny face. I might be sad sometimes, or angry, or scared or joyful, but I’m happy because I’m having, as a dear friend says, “ordinary lovely days”.